I HAD MY FILL
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.
The 21st Century is an inexorable “social” networking world, with an escalating compulsive need for popularity, a deficiency in mental stimulus, an increase in short attention spans, a decrease in memory retention, monotony in almost everything, and a decline in principles, priorities and responsibilities.
Facebook exemplifies all the above and more, and I opt not to be a part of this.
Using “friend” sheds a strong light on the founder of Facebook as well as the illusory concept of what friend and social now mean.
Facebook’s definition is this: a one-sided substance-deficient “sociality” by doing social without being social.
The following do not classify as friends: random people from our past, strangers and well-known personalities, some of whom were rather boring, I ended up “unfriending” to keep a positive image of them in my mind – knowing less about some people, be they personal, strangers or famous, is sometimes a blessing.
Just because we happen to be a Facebook connexion, does not equate to being friends.
Friendship is a two-way commitment and dedication.
WEARY OF THE SHARES
Three things you must always ask yourself before you say anything; Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me now?Craig Ferguson
There are timelines with too much “information” or inanities in the form of links, photos and statuses inundating feedback walls. Many illustrated paltriness is universal, and its antonym is not.
Post, for instance, a video of a kitten chasing its tail (awh, how cute!) and watch the number of likes rise. Post a human rights story . . . well, you get my point . . . unless the injustice is posted by or about a famed figure.
People sharing private photos without permission, and when you politely ask for their removal, you receive a slew of verbal attacks as a response. They betrayed a silent trust, but you are the one in the wrong, what nerve! A friend of mine had to change her Facebook name to avoid certain friends from finding her. She dared to ask someone she considered a friend of many years to remove her photo, which she shared without her consent, and received a crazy barrage of words and losing a friendship she thought was strong.
The plethora of hasty, absurd and unintelligent comments some make, on the defence over nothing to justify their wrongdoing. Sadly, it only results in them disclosing their lack of judgement and knowledge, and insecurities, unawares.
The increasing number of groups we join and pages we like, for what? They are essentially meaningless except for maybe to compensate for something we are lacking or to make us feel good. If you are proud to be a Muslim, UPHOLD, LIVE and BREATHE Al-Islâm as a (healing) way of life by BEING a Muslim, instead of hiding behind a page; if you are against Palestinian oppression, boycott resources sanctioning the annexation of Palestine rather than feigning support by joining groups; etc.
INVALUABLE TIME IS ANOTHER REASON +
There are the obvious and common reasons for closing the account like unethical practises, privacy, – though one will have to be rather naïve to expect privacy when using the web let alone a baseless “social” network, which is also their prerogative to do what they want with what they designed – terms of conditions, “addiction”, the sudden deactivating of specific accounts, the owner (a major factor in my decision for closing my account), studies proving the negative impact and “side effects” of Facebook, etc.
But the ultimate reason, life is too valuable to waste away on the unnecessary. I value my time and I will be held accountable for it and the energy expended, and it is simply not worth it.
Adding to the above, I honestly cannot be bothered with:
- Unwanted invites for shallow purposes and improper messages from the opposite gender.
- Negative, injudicious and childish drivels from people (with unresolved issues) who misread posts, messages or comments with ill-intentioned hearts and narrow minds; abnormally sensitive Facebookers who take everything personally; and the bore of similar statuses and links shared by many.
- “Contacts” who want my professional services and expertise free of charge and, get this, some take offence when I refuse their ever so generous offer.
- Superfluous words, hollow promises and insincere praises (about my writings) from people I personally know. Naturally, I remained neutral about their words to begin with but my level of respect for them did wane.
The penultimate reason, Facebookers who are quick to click the “like” button without reading my posts. How do I know this? My personal website and Scribd account show the statistics of the number of visitors, views and countries. Some “likers’” countries never seem to appear, hmm! (Why do I think the same will happen with this outburst?)
One main worthy cause – the most appalling and riling – implanted the initial thought to terminate my account: certain Facebookers let an injustice exist opting instead for cravenness.
I am referring to the murder of Ali Al-Jāber رحمه الله.
My husband, Khalid AlMahmoud, wrote three articles about his friend and colleague. Following (futile) advice from “friends”, he opened a Facebook account to spread the word. To our dismay, which we, alas, expected, Facebook made us realise pusillanimity was a common factor amongst the martyr’s colleagues and friends. A very small number even bothered to share the articles let alone do something about it!
I could not care less for gaining followers, being a number in an ever-increasing “friends” list or for the number of “likes” my works receive, if not genuine. By God, there is enough disingenuity in the world I do not need it in my life.
I did come across the odd decent person on Facebook and a few childhood friends from my time in Manchester and London, exchanging emails and numbers, and I admit, it is – was – a great source for writing ideas, but that is all.
People I revere, I prefer to sign up for their newsletters or subscribe to their websites; I actively do something beneficial about a worthy cause; I read, listen to and watch credible sources for the latest updates concerning what is happening in the world; I allocate time to connect or reconnect with family and friends; and so forth.
I survived before the contagious existence of Facebook and I will survive without it.
As with every book, it has a beginning, middle and an end, and my Facebook ending is nigh.
Sayonara Facebook for I close the book on you الْحَمْدُ لله.
Social media demands a lot of us on top of our already demanding lives. So let’s disconnect as we need to and renew our interests and ourselves.
A Veiled Chick’s Outbursts comprise writings of a more personal nature about my experiences or issues that exasperate me be it something I heard, read, watched, witnessed or observed. It is my way of letting off some steam, my incensed breathings.
Your post makes me sad ya Rabab, not just because you will no longer be on Facebook (actually, I’m not really surprised, and I know how to communicate & follow your writings) but because what you wrote is very true!
I’ll talk about myself. Facebook at certain times actually made me miserable! For personal reasons and also with all the news and posts about politics. Yes, it’s a source of information (that you need to check if it’s true or not first). It’s a means to communicate with family and friends that life makes difficult to meet. But you’re right, it’s a prison and, what makes me sadder now, I’m still not ready to break free and get myself out of that prison. I tried before, I think I told you, but I returned and still don’t like being there but still stuck!!
However, I’m happy I came across you there, one of the very few times I sent a “friend” request to someone I don’t know but Alhamdulillah I did it. You’re a beautiful person with a beautiful mind and personality, and you may be surprised, but I actually learnt from you a few things (and I swear, WAllahe, I’m not giving false praises or compliments, I genuinely like you because simply, you’re a true person).
I promise I will give more attention to my email when I receive notifications of your new posts dear insha’Allah.
As-Salaamu Alaykum Rabab,
I hope everything is in fine state on your side in-sha’-Allah.
I never thought about Facebook like this before. Though I always feel that if someone spent half an hour (just say) on Facebook, in all that time maybe he/she really does something meaningful for 2 minutes. (Definitely, this does not go for everyone. This is merely my opinion.)
For me, it’s not so much different as you described here. But if it’s true that I made 100 random friends here then it’s also true that I made one or two friends whom I really care and love and by whom I truly believed I am loved. (I believe that you know a name very well among a very few names who really matter to me (^_^).)
I truly envy you. What you have done is not so easy. I hope one day that I will also be able to remove all those unnecessary things, which does not actually matter to me.
You take care dear.
As-Salaamu Alaykum My Dear,
You know when someone (So Special) like you tells someone (So Ordinary) like me that I meant something in her life (regardless if it’s a small or huge role), that thing is called “Made My Day.” You really have Made My Day (^_^).
I don’t have enough words to express my happiness.
I supported you because your every word seems so true to me. I love you because I can’t resist myself from doing so.
Rabab, it was truly a blessed day for me when I met you. And I thank Allah for that day from the bottom of my heart.
In-sha’-Allah we will be connected forever (^_^).
Assalamu Alaikum Dear Rabab,
This is by far one of my favourites! I indeed feel the steam. A very refreshing article that is absolutely to the point!
There came a point when I shared some of these thoughts and feelings and so I closed my FB account, however I do not possess your skill and language to have been able to express my thoughts and feelings like you have done mashaAllah! I respect your choice and decision.
May Allah (SWT) put barakah in your work and Allow you to use your talent in His servitude. Ameen.
Lots of love,
Facebook . . . I could not agree more!
Never joined and never will.
What ever happened to pen and paper? Unfortunately societies are becoming detached from reality and such things as Facebook promote this.
Everything you say is true and when I found out Facebook was experimenting by changing our messages to each other, to see how we would react, it was the final straw. I am grateful they’re out of my life.